Floating

I don't really have a point to this blog, except for the fact that I haven't blogged in ages and feel as though I should; so please excuse the rambling...

Sometimes I feel so empty. Like a hollow shell. Life seems to flow by like a scene in a movie: I'm standing there in colour and everything else is in black and white. They're moving and I'm not. The sound is muted, and nothing's important or sacred.

I think I'm scared.

Now that school's over. What is life?

It sounds pathetic, but that's all I've ever known. I barely remember anything from before school. And after the holidays, I always come back. We all do. That's how it works. But not any more...

Will I even keep my promises to stay in touch with people? It'll take effort, but can I be bothered to make that effort?

And in all this I realise, that the only times I feel truly alive, are when I'm with Him, or with Andrew.

Not that I can't have fun with others. I know I do. But sometimes I feel there's a depth missing. Something that I only feel with them.

This isn't meant to offend anyone. I love my friends and family dearly. I'm just emptying my brain really.

This is all slightly exaggerated... but it's the general gist of what I'm feeling.

Sometimes I wish life wasn't so complicated.

People and their emotions and so many things to do...

But perhaps next year will be easier. Less stressful. I've hated the anxiety and stress that comes with Year 13.

Some people are sad to leave. I think my primary emotion is relief.

Sleep

Sleep. The thing that I need the most, but constantly evades me.
I wouldn't say I don't like sleep. I guess I'd just rather being doing something more... real...
The idea of sleep scares me somewhat: One minute you're awake and then you never remember how or when you fell asleep but you did, and then you're awake again and hours have past that seemed like merely seconds... or even less...
For me, even when I'm lucky enough to get some decent sleep, I'm constantly harassed by endless dreams. Some people think I'm lucky that I dream (or remember my dreams) every night. If I was them, I'd think I'm lucky too, but being me, I know that it sucks waking up feeling more tired than you did the night before. I dream so vividly, and so often, it tires me out, because I feel as though I've actually lived through whatever happened. (Which is also in some cases extremely awkward.)
Another downside is that I often can't distinguish between dream and reality, also due to the vividity (yes that's a word) of my dreams. For instance, I'll say to someone, "Don't you remember? I told you that," and they'll be confused and tell me that I didn't tell them whatever it was. Then I realise "Oops, that was a dream. Nevermind," which I may or may not say out loud...
And so life carries confusingly on...

Sexy Talk

So I was randomly surfing teh net and found someone who had blogged about turn-offs and turn-ons. And I thought, "What a brilliant idea!"

Turn-offs:
> Bad breath... and a general lack of hygiene. But more specifically bad breath.
> Doing the same annoying thing over and over.
> Unconfident, or wimpy.
> Untidiness.

Turn-ons:
> Making me feel safe and happy
> Generally being sexalicious
> Being able to talk to me
> Openess and honesty



...



> Being Hugh Jackman ;)

OHHHH YEEEAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Nippy's.

There is no drink better then Nippy's Iced Chocolate.
Why? I hear you ask.
Because the straw is amazing. I mean, the drink itself is great too, but... the STRAW!!!!

Just. Thoughts.

Hm, I think it's about time I posted something of substance. I tend to prefer to post things to make others laugh. I guess I just figure no-one would care to read anything serious of mine, because personally I much prefer to read funny posts, and then I assume everyone is of the same opinion as me.
I think a lot of people do that. That's why there's so much misunderstanding around. People need to realise that others don't necessarily work the same way they do. Even if that doesn't appear to make sense to the person.
In some ways, life would be easier if everyone's minds worked in a similar way in that sense, but also that would take away our individuality too, so not so good heh.



Hm, this post is too serious...


...


Bum.

Earthquake!!

WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My earthquake virginity is officially gone.
There was a massive 7.1 earthquake that totally rocked the very foundations of our existance, dude.
Well, not quite. But frick it was scary.
I woke bolt upright and my brain didn't start functioning until I was under my door frame. At that point I realised, "Flip, this must be an earthquake."
Luckily no-one was killed, and no-one I know was hurt.

My favourite photo of the city:



How do ya like them apples?

The Story

I felt as though it was necessary to post this... Written by a colleague of mine and myself, a brilliant piece of work, if I may say so myself...


The Story (inspired by Gizzberg)
By Siobhan.
Oh, and Julia.
Yeah.

On a hillop in Northern Island, lived a man.
Gotta lick an eyeball…
Gotta hide the photocopier.
Gotta skin the dog…
Gotta split yo face…
Gotta rape ya monkey…
Gotta write a song… about you…
Gotta make you moleless…
Just close your eyes!!
Gotta make GaGa an outfit.
Gonna be a surprise.
Gonna grate your dick…
I’m at your place. I like yo mum.
I like to get funky… Inside the photocopier.
Dick Dick Brick MAUL.
Gonna sh*t on yo face.
Processing yo information. I like yo boobs.
Like how you regenerate like a frog… turns me on…
Respawn on me. Yes. Sexually.
Through that split in your curtains I can see you… Brilliantly…
Relax. I’m a doctor. Just kidding, I’m Jude Law.
Howling, last night I needed you… egg…
I’ll make you squeal… like a fish.
You’re a spy… I’m just smashed… sex…
I just came. On yo squash.
Baby you know my umbrella… tonight everything’s gonna unroll…
I like yo flesh. Only when I’m blind, B*tch.
Gonna sex yo clock… Gonna sex yo rockin’ chair…
I’m Grandfather Time!!
Dissatisfaction. Satisfaction. Faction. Fact. Bum.
Give me that Holy White……………. white white… Bum.
Lying down. Feeling Indian. Bum.
On the hillop… grating his dick… coming on a squash… there was a man.