I don't really have a point to this blog, except for the fact that I haven't blogged in ages and feel as though I should; so please excuse the rambling...
Sometimes I feel so empty. Like a hollow shell. Life seems to flow by like a scene in a movie: I'm standing there in colour and everything else is in black and white. They're moving and I'm not. The sound is muted, and nothing's important or sacred.
I think I'm scared.
Now that school's over. What is life?
It sounds pathetic, but that's all I've ever known. I barely remember anything from before school. And after the holidays, I always come back. We all do. That's how it works. But not any more...
Will I even keep my promises to stay in touch with people? It'll take effort, but can I be bothered to make that effort?
And in all this I realise, that the only times I feel truly alive, are when I'm with Him, or with Andrew.
Not that I can't have fun with others. I know I do. But sometimes I feel there's a depth missing. Something that I only feel with them.
This isn't meant to offend anyone. I love my friends and family dearly. I'm just emptying my brain really.
This is all slightly exaggerated... but it's the general gist of what I'm feeling.
Sometimes I wish life wasn't so complicated.
People and their emotions and so many things to do...
But perhaps next year will be easier. Less stressful. I've hated the anxiety and stress that comes with Year 13.
Some people are sad to leave. I think my primary emotion is relief.
